What is Trauma?
Understanding the impact of overwhelming experiences
Many people imagine trauma as something dramatic or catastrophic, but trauma can come from a wide range of experiences. It can be sudden, like an accident or assault. It can be ongoing, like emotional neglect, coercive control, or chronic stress. It can be subtle, like growing up in an environment where your needs were dismissed or your identity was not accepted.
Trauma itself is defined by what happens inside us as a result of one or more events — the shock, the overwhelm, the sense of threat, and the way our nervous system struggles to cope. Trauma is the body and minds response to experiences that overwhelm us, that make it difficult or even seemingly impossible to process. It is less about “what happened” and more about “how it felt, how my body and mind responded, and how it changed us.”
Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn
When something overwhelms us, our nervous system moves into survival mode — fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. But our body can get stuck, signalling any of these survival modes where no risk exists. That’s why our body can return to fight, flight, freeze, or fawn at any time, when it is not needed. It can be triggered just from a memory, a dream, a smell, a sound, or someone’s innocent comment.
Fight – Your body feels the danger and responds in fight mode. Signs include a feeling of intense anger, having an urge to punch someone or something, having a burning sensation in your stomach and can involve you attacking the source of danger.
Flight – Your body runs away, with a surge of hormones like adrenaline giving your body what it needs to run harder, faster and longer than normal. Signs of flight can include having a restless body, having dilated and darting eyes, feeling fidgety.
Freeze – This keeps you stuck where you are. Your body doesn’t feel able to fight or flee. You may experience feeling heavy or numb, have a loud pounding heart, a sense of dread.
Fawn – This response tries to cover up the distress you hold. You become overly agreeable to whoever may be causing harm, trying to soothe them in order to survive. It can be displayed with people-pleasing, being overly helpful, a focus on making someone else happy.
I have worked with many clients who have suffered traumatic events, and often they question why they didn’t run when attacked, why they didn’t fight back when constantly demeaned, or why they stayed with their abusive partner and tried to make them happy. I work with them helping them to understand why none of these responses are choices and why they are normal. They are automatic, biological reactions designed to protect us, keeping us in these states to try and create a sense of stability. In reality they can keep us stuck for a long time, with the events leading to the traumatic responses needing to be very carefully processed.
Trauma and how we see the world
As well as changes to how our body responds, trauma also affects how we see the world. It can shape our beliefs about trust, danger, relationships, and our own worth. It can make everyday situations feel threatening or unpredictable. It can create patterns that once helped us survive but now make life harder — like shutting down, over‑functioning, avoiding conflict, or constantly seeking reassurance. These patterns are not flaws, but are adaptations.
Trauma also lives in the body on a daily basis — in muscle tension, sleep disruption, chronic pain, digestive issues, and the way we breathe. The body remembers what the mind cannot always express. This is why trauma‑informed therapy often includes attention to the nervous system, embodiment, and pacing. Healing is not just about talking; it’s about slowly restoring a sense of internal safety.
“The brain and body are capable of healing, rewiring, and recovering"
With the help of trauma-informed counselling and therapy, you can re-build your sense of Self. The brain and body are capable of healing, rewiring, and recovering. With the right support, you can learn to understand your responses and rebuild a sense of connection and control. Healing does not mean forgetting what happened. It means reducing the impact so the past no longer dictates the present.
For help processing the traumatic event or events you have experienced, helping you to reduce the impact on your life, do talk to a trauma-informed counsellor / therapist. If you would like to find out how I can help you, please take a look at my trauma page and do
get in touch to arrange a chat.
Catriona Standingford
Therapist | Counsellor | Coach | Educator
My professional accreditations and credentials
Are you in an emergency?
Are you currently experiencing an emergency or major crisis? Are you considering serious self-harm? Please seek immediate help from your GP, visiting your nearest A&E or dialing 999.
If you would like to have someone listen to you, you can also contact the Samaritans immediately on 116 123. They are available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.